Friday, July 01, 2011

Sic Semper Intertubus

Contemporary revolutionary vernacular?

wen n d corZ of hUmN evnts it Bcums nSSRe 4 1 ppl 2 dissolve d political B&z wich av coNectd em W nothA +2 aSume among d pwrs of d erth, d sepR8 n eql st8N 2 wich d Laws of Nature n of Nature's God entitle em, a decent respect 2 d opinions of mankind needs dat dey shd declare d causes wich impel em 2 d seprAtion.

We hld deez truths 2B self-evident, dat ll men r cr8d eql, dat thyre endowd by their cre8r W certN unalienable ryts, dat among deez r lyf, Liberty n d pursuit of ^^. — dat 2 secure deez ryts, Governments r instituted among Men, deriving their jst pwrs frm d consent of d governed, — dat whnvr Ny 4m of govt Bcums destructiv of deez ends, consent of d governed, — dat whnvr Ny 4m of govt Bcums destructiv of deez ends, itz d ryt of d ppl 2 alter or 2 abolish it, +2 institute nu govt, laying its foundation on such principles n organizing its pwrs n such 4m, as 2 em shll seem most lIklE 2 effct their safeT n ^^. Prudence, idd, wl dict8 dat Governments lng estd shd nt B chngd 4 lyt n transient causes; n accordingly ll xprnz hath shewn dat mankind r mor disposed 2 suffA, yl evils r sufferable thN 2 ryt demselvs by abolishing d 4rms 2 wich thyre accustomed. bt wen a lng zug of abuses n usurpations, pursuing invariably d same obj evinces a Dzine 2 reduce em undR abs Despotism, itz their ryt, itz their duty, 2 thrO off such govt, +2 provide nu Guards 4 their fucha security. — Such hs bn d patient sufferance of deez Colonies; n such S now d necessity wich constrains em 2 alter their 4mer Systems of govt. d hx of d presnt King of GB isa hx of repEted injurEs n usurpations, ll havN n diRct obj d establishmnt of an abs Tyranny ovr deez st8z. 2 proove dis, let Facts B submiTed 2 a candid wrld.
He hs refused hs Assent 2 Laws, d most whlsme n nSSRe 4t public gud.

He hs 4bidN hs Governrs 2 pass Laws of immedi8 n pressin importans, unl suspendd n their op til hs Assent shd B obtaind; n wen so suspendd, he hs utterly neglected 2 atend 2 em.
He hs refused 2 pass oder Laws 4t accommodation of lg districts of ppl, unl doze ppl w%d relinquish d ryt of Representation n d Legislature, a ryt inestimable 2 em n 4midable 2 tyrants 1ly. He hs cllD 2gtha legislative bods @ places unusual, uncom4tabl, n Dstnt frm d depository of their Public Records, 4t sole purpus of fatiguing em N2 compliance W hs measures.

He hs disolvd Representativ Houses repeatedly, 4 opposing W manly firmness hs invasions on d ryts of d ppl. He hs refused 4 a lng tym, aftr such dissolutions, 2 cauZ othas 2B elected, whereby d Legislative pwrs, incapable of Annihilation, av returnD 2 d ppl @ lg 4 their XRcZ; d st8 remaining n d mean tym XposD 2 ll d dangers of invasion frm w/o, n convulsions witn.

He hs endeavoured 2 avoid d population of deez st8z; 4 dat purpus obstructing d Laws 4 Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing 2 pass othas 2 encourage their migrations hither, n raising d conditions of nu Appropriations of Lands. He hs obstructed d admin of justis by refusing hs Assent 2 Laws 4 establishing Judiciary pwrs.

He hs md Judges dependent on hs wl solo 4t tenure of their offices, n d amt n pmt of their salaries. He hs erected a multitude of nu Offices, n sent hither swarms of Officers 2 harass r ppl n e@ ot their substance. He hs kept among us, n tyms of peace, st&ing Armies w/o d Consent of r legislatures.

He hs afectd 2 render d mltry indpt of n sup. 2 d Civil pwr. He hs combiND W othas 2 topic us 2 a jurisdiction 4N 2 r constitution, n unacknowledged by r laws; givin hs Assent 2 their Acts of pre10d Legislation: 4 quartering lg bods of armed troops among us:

4 protecting em, by a mock Trial frm punishmnt 4 Ny Murders wich dey shd comit on d dwellers of deez st8z: 4 cutting off r Trade W ll parts of d wrld: 4 imposing Taxes on us w/o r Consent: 4 depriving us n mnE cases, of d Bnefit of Trial by Jury:

4 transporting us Byond Seas 2B triD 4 pre10d offences: 4 abolishing d fre sys of en Laws ina neighbouring Province, establishing therein an random govt, n enlarging its edges so as 2 render it @ 1s an xampl n fit instrument 4 introducing d same abs rwl N2 deez Colonies

4 abolishing d fre sys of en Laws ina neighbouring Province, establishing therein an random govt, n enlarging its edges so as 2 render it @ 1s an xampl n fit instrument 4 introducing d same abs rwl N2 deez Colonies 4takin awy r Charters, abolishing r most valuable Laws n altering fundamentally d 4rms of r Governments:

4 suspending r own Legislatures, n declaring demselvs invested W pwr 2 legislate 4 us n ll cases whatsoever. He hs abdicated govt hre, by declaring us outa hs Protection n waging War agenst us. He hs plundered r seas, ravaged r coasts, burnt r towns, n DstroyD d lyfs of r ppl.
hes @ dis tym transporting lg Armies of 4N Mercenaries 2 compleat d wrks of deth, desolation, n tyranny, alrdy begun W circumstances of Cruelty & Perfidy scarcely paralleled n d most barbarous ages, n 100% unworthy d hed of a civilized n8tN. He hs constrained r fellow Citizens taken Captive on d hi Seas 2 bear Arms agenst their Country, 2 Bcum d executioners of their F? n brethrN, or 2 fall demselvs by their Hands.

He hs Xcited domestic insurrections amongts us, n hs endeavoured 2 brng on d dwellers of r frontiers, d merciless _:-) Savages whose nown rwl of warfare, S an undistinguished destruction of ll ages, sexes n conditions. n evry stage of deez Oppressions w'v Petitioned 4 Redress n d most Hmbl terms: r repEted Petitions av bn ansD 1ly by repEted injury.

A Prince, whose char S sic markD by evry act wich may Dfyn a Tyrant, S unfit 2B d ruler of a fre ppl. Nor av We bn wantN n attentions 2 r brit brethrN. w'v warnD em frm tym 2 tym of aTempts by their legislature 2 Xtnd an unwarrantable jurisdiction ovr us. w'v remindd em of d circumstances of r emigration n seTlemNt hre.

w'v aPealed 2 their nativ justis n magnanimity, n w'v conjured em by d ties of r comN kindred 2 disavow deez usurpations, wich w%d inevitably intrrpt r connexions n correspondence. dey 2 av bn deaf 2 d voiC of justis n of consanguinity. We must, thus, acquiesce n d necessity, wich denounces r seprAtion, n hld em, as we hld d rest of mankind, foes n War, n Peace F?.

We, thus, d reps of d united st8z of USA, n General Congress, assembld, apealin 2 d Supreme jdge of d wrld 4t rectitude of r goals, do, n d nme, n by athrty of d gud ppl of deez Colonies, solemnly publish n declare, dat deez united Colonies r, n of ryt ought 2B fre n indpt st8z, dat thyre Absolved frm ll loyalty 2   d brit Crown, n dat ll political conXN btw em n d st8 of gr8 BritN, S n ought 2B 100% disolvd; n dat as fre n indpt st8z, they've ful pwr 2 levy War, conclude Peace, cntrct Alliances, establish Commerce, +2 do ll oder Acts n fings wich indpt st8z may of ryt do. — n 4t suprt of dis Declaration, W a firm reliance on d protection of Dvine Providence, we mutually avow 2 ea oder r lyfs, r 4tunes, n r sacrd Honor.




Anonymous DBR96A said...

d00d, r 3n3m135 r b0ut 2 g1t pwn3d!!!!!!11one!!!!eleven111!!!!!!!!!one-hundred-eleven!!!!!!!!!!1

Friday, July 01, 2011 2:32:00 PM  
Blogger rich10e said...


Friday, July 01, 2011 2:36:00 PM  

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